What’s the goal of your goals?

If you were to take time to write down all the things that you wanted to accomplish this year, does the list take up both sides of the page? Or if you wrote it digitally, did you have to scroll down to the end?

That’s not necessarily a good thing, my friend…

You might wonder why I, someone who is eager to take on so many projects, is being critical of wanting to take on so many projects. 

But as a society, so much of our goal setting is coming from a belief that we are not healthy/wealthy/smart/lovable/worthy enough right now. I blame capitalism and the patriarchy: capitalism needs that not-enough-ness to keep the money following on products and services that help us work on those goals. And patriarchy (and white settler colonialism, while we’re at it!) benefits from our pursuit of these goals so that we are distracted from challenging their systems of oppression. 

It is possible to set and achieve goals while also eschewing capitalism and confronting The Man. Here’s how: 

Take a look at your laundry list of new habits to create, old habits to break, goals to achieve, and milestones to reach. Then ask yourself:

1. why do I want to do this?

Do you think you’ll be a better person? More loveable or worthy? 

Or do you want to make all these changes for the fun of it?

2. how will I get to feel after I’ve made these changes?

If at first your reflection on your goals uncovers a related desire or goal, ask yourself why that goal is important to you. Keep asking “why” until you’ve gotten to what you ultimately want to get out of the project you want to take on. 

This critical analysis is a key element in ensuring the success of those goals we wrote down. That’s because some motivations are more helpful to achieving long term satisfaction, regardless of whether you reach all the goals.

See, goals that are driven by not enough-ness, once achieved, are usually still not enough. Goals that are aligned with enrichment, integrity, and just pure “for the hell of it” fun, on the other hand, will bring the desired results. 

Are you struggling with identifying the motivations behind your goals? Hop on a discovery call and I can help you work through it.