Busy is not a Badge of Honor

“I’ve been so busy.”

I hear it all the time from people I talk to. As a reason for a missed event, a slow email reply, or as a response to “how are you?”

When someone asks you how you’re doing and you say “busy”, you may think you’re reporting out the facts, like you’d talk about the weather. “It’s 65 degrees and sunny here, and I am busy.” But “I’m busy” is not a fact. It’s also not a feeling, like sad/happy/mad. Busy is an opinion about a set of facts. Facts like: I have social commitments after work every night this week; I have 6 reports to finish reading by 5p; and I have three kids, two dogs, one goldfish and zero in-laws to help.

In our capitalist system of hustle culture imbued with puritan work ethics, we think being busy is a good thing. We think that it means we’re being productive and having fulfilling lives. Maybe you’re saying “I’m so busy” as a complaint-brag. Like, you wish you weren’t, but you’re proud that you are. But how do you feel when you say that you’re busy? Are you feeling content and accomplished, or tired and overwhelmed?

I tend to have a lot on my plate, whether it be professional, personal, civic or for fun. Because I didn't manage it well, I for sure used to call myself “busy”. But when I started to get super intentional about how I wanted to spend my time and what I wanted to accomplish, I stopped feeling busy. Instead I felt full, content, accomplished, despite being committed to as much if not more than I used to be. 

I’m still tempted to give “busy” as a response or an excuse, but I don’t, because I know my brain is listening. And when I do feel busy, I know it’s a sign that maybe I’ve taken too much on, said yes when I should have said no, or am not listening to my body.

Next time you are tempted to consider yourself busy: think again. What’s a more helpful opinion you could have about the facts of your life? Are your commitments causing you to feel busy in a bad way? If so, I’d love to help.